Diary: Soup & New Boots
I've got a tiny and beautiful new diary from Paperchase, and I love it. I've taken a long break from daily diary writing as sometimes it gets to be a bit boring and feel like a chore. It's good to take a break, or change what you're doing enough to make it fun again - I've come back with this new diary and I'm enjoying using this one because instead of the previous one-page-a-day diaries I've used, this one has two days to a page, and combined with a nice compact size, it just feels refreshing to write a concise little bit about my day.
It's almost more honest, because I'm forced to use only a few sentences. It's essentially a handwritten Twitter, I suppose. I've taken to putting some stickers in for extra visual flair. Good things that happened recently that I clearly needed to record include: getting some new boots, consuming soup, doing some doodles, and watching a bunch of YouTube videos.
I've been reminiscing a bit, getting back into old bands and old habits, feeling more and more invigorated and excited to create things, and enjoying some good old heavy rain falling onto my window in the night. What a relaxing sound that is (despite being pretty loud). It all feels nice.
Cocoons
I feel like I've been inside a dark, shadowy box for some time and have just emerged all of a sudden, perhaps through a chute. I keep getting this feeling over and over lately. Like I've just now come into existence. I'm not really sure why, or what it means. Maybe I've just been sleeping strangely, or listening to too much weird music. I feel like I've been looking into a kaleidoscope for a really long time. Like I've been inside a cocoon of whirling lights.
Maybe I've been trying a bit too hard to focus on everything. I've been taking in too much music, maybe, looking at too many tweets, trying to take too many cute photos instead of just letting all the ugly and blurry photos happen.
I have been making scans, and I'm happy about that, because there is something about scans that retains a certain kind of spontaneity and blurry, warpy messiness. They sometimes have quite a high quality feel to them, but they're never 100% pristine. They're always in some way touched by movement and wobbliness. That's why I love them so much and feel like they're such a good expression of myself. They're so reliable, yet always a little different and a little messy.
Honestly, they also look somewhat look I'm cocooned within them, so maybe it's a good visual representation of that feeling, or the feeling of bursting out into wakefulness, because they make me feel pleasantly and carelessly awake.
You Fool, You Coward
I love the way mindless painting can lend itself to strange parts of the imagination that pop up to surprise you. I like to paint a lot whilst watching something, or just whilst idly thinking as my brain switches to automatic mode. It's weird how far away from reality you can drift whilst doing something like painting.
I ended up painting two circles who then became planets. One is a plucky young planet ready to take on the universe, and the other is a cowboy, inexplicably. Please respect the cowboy planet.
I've been painting in some of my largest notebooks, and I always feel like I have to do something different with the compositions when I use them. There's so much space, it almost feels a bit too vast, but it's always good to switch around and do something slightly different whenever possible to promote a certain amount of flexibility. Painting big things and drawing small things.
Here's some mess:
4 Movies I Watched This Month (+ 1 Movie I Hated)
I've been watching movies a lot recently. I decided to start watching movies I hadn't seen from IMDB's top 250 list, and I also found a YouTube archive of Korean movies dating from as far back as the 1930s (KoreanFilm channel), so those two things have shaped a sort of weird trajectory through film that I have been hurtling through lately.
The first film I watched from IMDB's top 250 list was The Godfather. This is one I'd been meaning to watch for a long time, and I can see why it's held in such high esteem. It was easily the most compelling film of the ones in this post. The narrative is sprawling and has an almost slice-of-life feel with all the characters in the family and some really well-constructed moments of tension.
I chose this screenshot from the section in Italy because I thought the shot was really pretty, but also that section of the film is perhaps one of the most interesting. There's an ethereal quality to it in some places.
This was the first film I watched on KoreanFilm. I had no idea what to expect and simply clicked on the first film listed. It was interesting, especially in its first half, telling the story of a schoolgirl with a bicycle meeting a marathon runner and basically having some banter with him. She also has a little brother who is quite fun.
Unfortunately, the second half becomes so overly dramatic that I couldn't take it seriously. It feels like a Shakespearean tragedy in the way that the characters' actions just make absolutely no sense. What I like most about this film has to be the cinematography. There are some lovely shots through flowers and such, as pictured above, and we get some good sporty 1970s outfits too.
This is another 1970s Korean film I watched on KoreanFilm, and has quite a similar feel to Crazy For You, despite the fact that this is a 1990s production. Harmonium is set in a small village in the 1960s and is based a real semi-autobiographical novel by Ha Geun-chan. One thing this film does really well is to portray the rural setting. It feels very real, and the characters are very interesting within this world. The entire film is pretty much about a very child-like 17 year old girl who becomes infatuated with her new teacher, whilst he simultaneously becomes infatuated with another new teacher.
I really enjoyed how the film uses music and LPs as a connective theme. We have characters bonding over Connie Francis records, characters singing idly to themselves, and a character who spends almost the entire film asking, "what's an LP?" 1960s music as a connective device fits the film very well, and ultimately it's a nice study of the village and it's characters. Lee Byung-hun is charming as the male lead.
This film is so bad. I only watched it out of Adam Driver related curiosity, but it was not a good decision. The story follows a man as he immediately finds his wife cheating on him with his boss, and shortly after discovers his dad has died. He then has to spend an extended period of time with his family - all of whom are inevitably dysfunctional, teeming with explosive relationship problems, and apparently desperately cloying at their past whilst in their hometown. The best scene is the one where Tina Fey punches a guy.
It seems like the film is trying to carry this message of how there's a poetry to everyone's mistakes and how cyclical yet unexpected life can be. That there's beauty and opportunity and love to be found in chaos and disaster and pain. That's the feeling I think it's trying to communicate, but in my opinion it does this really poorly by having its characters more or less treat each other with no regard and no humanity. It's just a conveyor belt of horrible things. A desperate attempt to cling on to some kind of emotional brevity amongst a familial and personal hellscape, with some sad puerile humour as a veil over the misery and hatefulness.
This kind of film-making seems like a huge trend. I've seen so many films and TV shows that tread in the same sad puddle, and personally I find it nothing but miserable to watch. Its attempts at a kind of knowing, wry humour fall behind the genuine callousness and emptiness shown as the characters use and abuse each other. I think one movie that went for this style and actually succeeded in making itself uplifting, genuinely funny, and endearing whilst using a narrative of dysfunction was Obvious Child (also released in 2014). I recommend watching that instead of this.
The Godfather (1972)
The first film I watched from IMDB's top 250 list was The Godfather. This is one I'd been meaning to watch for a long time, and I can see why it's held in such high esteem. It was easily the most compelling film of the ones in this post. The narrative is sprawling and has an almost slice-of-life feel with all the characters in the family and some really well-constructed moments of tension.
I chose this screenshot from the section in Italy because I thought the shot was really pretty, but also that section of the film is perhaps one of the most interesting. There's an ethereal quality to it in some places.
Crazy For You (μ§μ§ μ§μ§ μ’μν΄, 1977)
This was the first film I watched on KoreanFilm. I had no idea what to expect and simply clicked on the first film listed. It was interesting, especially in its first half, telling the story of a schoolgirl with a bicycle meeting a marathon runner and basically having some banter with him. She also has a little brother who is quite fun.
Unfortunately, the second half becomes so overly dramatic that I couldn't take it seriously. It feels like a Shakespearean tragedy in the way that the characters' actions just make absolutely no sense. What I like most about this film has to be the cinematography. There are some lovely shots through flowers and such, as pictured above, and we get some good sporty 1970s outfits too.
The Harmonium in My Memory (λ΄ λ§μμ νκΈ, 1999)
This is another 1970s Korean film I watched on KoreanFilm, and has quite a similar feel to Crazy For You, despite the fact that this is a 1990s production. Harmonium is set in a small village in the 1960s and is based a real semi-autobiographical novel by Ha Geun-chan. One thing this film does really well is to portray the rural setting. It feels very real, and the characters are very interesting within this world. The entire film is pretty much about a very child-like 17 year old girl who becomes infatuated with her new teacher, whilst he simultaneously becomes infatuated with another new teacher.
I really enjoyed how the film uses music and LPs as a connective theme. We have characters bonding over Connie Francis records, characters singing idly to themselves, and a character who spends almost the entire film asking, "what's an LP?" 1960s music as a connective device fits the film very well, and ultimately it's a nice study of the village and it's characters. Lee Byung-hun is charming as the male lead.
This Is Where I Leave You (2014)
This film is so bad. I only watched it out of Adam Driver related curiosity, but it was not a good decision. The story follows a man as he immediately finds his wife cheating on him with his boss, and shortly after discovers his dad has died. He then has to spend an extended period of time with his family - all of whom are inevitably dysfunctional, teeming with explosive relationship problems, and apparently desperately cloying at their past whilst in their hometown. The best scene is the one where Tina Fey punches a guy.
It seems like the film is trying to carry this message of how there's a poetry to everyone's mistakes and how cyclical yet unexpected life can be. That there's beauty and opportunity and love to be found in chaos and disaster and pain. That's the feeling I think it's trying to communicate, but in my opinion it does this really poorly by having its characters more or less treat each other with no regard and no humanity. It's just a conveyor belt of horrible things. A desperate attempt to cling on to some kind of emotional brevity amongst a familial and personal hellscape, with some sad puerile humour as a veil over the misery and hatefulness.
This kind of film-making seems like a huge trend. I've seen so many films and TV shows that tread in the same sad puddle, and personally I find it nothing but miserable to watch. Its attempts at a kind of knowing, wry humour fall behind the genuine callousness and emptiness shown as the characters use and abuse each other. I think one movie that went for this style and actually succeeded in making itself uplifting, genuinely funny, and endearing whilst using a narrative of dysfunction was Obvious Child (also released in 2014). I recommend watching that instead of this.
Gamiss Valentine's Day Sale Wishlist: 10 Cute Dresses
✶✵ This is a post made in partnership with Gamiss and includes affiliate links. ✵✶
Are you ready for another wishlist? Well, Gamiss are having a Valentine's Day sale and have asked me to curate a wishlist for them, so I decided to choose my ten favourite dresses from their dress section, because I guess I'm in a dress mood.
1. Floral Print Plunging Mini Wrap Dress - $13.20
I know it's still winter, but somehow the new year has conjured this strange summery feeling within me. It is to be feared, probably, but it mostly results in me coveting a lot of florals and light dresses like this. This is a nice, flowy mini dress, and the colour is nice and bright (and may make you attractive to bees).
2. Mesh Panel Dress - $11.16
I love me a simple A-line dress, and there's something about mesh/sheer panels that I like a lot too. I really like the way this dress incorporates mesh panels into an otherwise flat colour dress. It looks smart, cool, and a little bit futuristic.
3. Colour Block Maxi Dress - $15.99
This one might be wishful thinking, as I suspect I would look very short and odd somehow if I were to wear this, but I think it's such a cool design. I love the two-tone situation here and how it comes together. It's almost like two very large napkins have been folded together in a harmonious metaphor for the marriage of light and dark. Sort of.
4. Button Up Spaghetti Strap Striped Dress - $12.69
This is another interesting choice. I have always liked and enjoyed shirt dresses, and the addition of spaghetti straps and cut out shoulders on this one are really intriguing to me. I love the sweetheart neckline and the bow around the middle. There's something very cute about it.
5. Black & White Maxi Dress - $14.21
I don't want to say anything about this one, because looking at it is its own reward.
6. Back Cut Out Chiffon Floral Dress - $12.43
I love the delicate, sheer look this has. It looks like a very wedding-y dress, and the open back area and ribbon tie on the back of the dress are lovely.
7. Striped Bodycon Mini Dress - $10.40
This is a nice and simple striped dress that looks super cute and comfy. I am always drawn to stripes. I think they hypnotise me.
8. V Neck Knitted Pleated Dress - $24.28
The shape of this is really cool, combining a kind of ballet dress look with 1920s elements. I like the pleats a lot, as well as the ribbon. Man, I love ribbons. Cover me in ribbons.
9. Drop Waist Floral Print Dress - $13.93
This dress is really unique, and I love the central floral print. It's bold, it's pretty, and there's a modern yet classic feel to it.
10. Bodycon Skew Neck Dress - $14.54
Last but not least, here's a comfy looking and super long bodycon dress. This one is simple yet flattering with its solid colour and nice asymmetrical sleeves. Set your shoulder free, but only one of them. The other one is a bad shoulder who must be punished.
☆☆☆
This was a fun and cheerful list to compile. Please tell me which dress you like the most. Also, how many bows is acceptable in one outfit? Is it two? Seven? Three hundred and twenty six?
HOW TO BE A GOOD PERSON /// + YOUTUBE FAVES
Okay, this is not an instructional post. I'm reflecting. Like a huge, wobbly mirror (with wild hair). Something has made me feel excited. Maybe it's just making more blog posts and YouTube videos again, taking complete and absolute hold of me, worming its way in the way it always does. I'm not sure why it is that it can burrow so deep, but seeing videos of people I've met once or twice - going to parties, making content, laughing with their friends until their lungs hurt, filming late night introspective talks, arranging their fairy lights, making snide references to disliked well-known YouTubers - seeing all this stuff makes me feel incredibly real and forever buzzing, bee-like, into something new.
I see all this progression, excitement, friendship, growth, and endless jokes in dim lighting and cameras spinning with laughter, and it all makes me think - where am I right now? What am I doing? What's happening?
I've realised I'm still someone who gets that dreaded comment, "you're really quiet, aren't you?" And whilst these days I take it with its intended warmth (I feel like often when people say that they're kind of trying to reassure you and connect with you), it feels like a challenge. A note on who I am right now. A reminder of who I have been, and the twinkling future with a shadowy form. I admire so many people, and see so much, and I want to take it all and hold it in my chest and become something better. I want to be a good person, a better person, an exciting and vivacious type. The person you can tell terrible jokes to and share your fears with. The person wearing glitter and huge crab claws at a party.
So here's me now, thinking all of this:
And I promise I will do my best.
Maybe I'll be able to look back on this post and see something, some difference in me, perhaps next year, or in two years, or in six months. For the sake of comparison, then, I'll list my follower and subscriber count, which on this blog is (as of writing) 7008, and on YouTube, 1873. I'm going to try and pour so much into these spaces, but also into the entire concept of self-documentation and into my relationships and creativity overall. Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be great.
Meanwhile, here's a screenshot of a draft video file, because I thought it was funny, and below is a list of YouTubers who make me want to be a better human in various ways:
NotJustBlonde
Ant
Diogenes The Vlog
Rosianna Halse Rojas
KhanStopMe
Jon Aitken
Tessa Violet
SuperSamStuff
Leena
Francesca Georgiou
Embly
Lucy Moon
Craig Simmonds
Daniel J. Layton
ScarfDemon
Dodie
Peter Draws
Jimmy
I see all this progression, excitement, friendship, growth, and endless jokes in dim lighting and cameras spinning with laughter, and it all makes me think - where am I right now? What am I doing? What's happening?
I've realised I'm still someone who gets that dreaded comment, "you're really quiet, aren't you?" And whilst these days I take it with its intended warmth (I feel like often when people say that they're kind of trying to reassure you and connect with you), it feels like a challenge. A note on who I am right now. A reminder of who I have been, and the twinkling future with a shadowy form. I admire so many people, and see so much, and I want to take it all and hold it in my chest and become something better. I want to be a good person, a better person, an exciting and vivacious type. The person you can tell terrible jokes to and share your fears with. The person wearing glitter and huge crab claws at a party.
So here's me now, thinking all of this:
And I promise I will do my best.
Maybe I'll be able to look back on this post and see something, some difference in me, perhaps next year, or in two years, or in six months. For the sake of comparison, then, I'll list my follower and subscriber count, which on this blog is (as of writing) 7008, and on YouTube, 1873. I'm going to try and pour so much into these spaces, but also into the entire concept of self-documentation and into my relationships and creativity overall. Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be great.
Meanwhile, here's a screenshot of a draft video file, because I thought it was funny, and below is a list of YouTubers who make me want to be a better human in various ways:
NotJustBlonde
Ant
Diogenes The Vlog
Rosianna Halse Rojas
KhanStopMe
Jon Aitken
Tessa Violet
SuperSamStuff
Leena
Francesca Georgiou
Embly
Lucy Moon
Craig Simmonds
Daniel J. Layton
ScarfDemon
Dodie
Peter Draws
Jimmy
Fitting Room Focus: Primark Pink Biker Jacket & Fuzzy Tassel Cardigan
Well, well, well, it seems it's been a while since my last Fitting Room Focus post. It can be hard to withstand the erratic lighting situations of a fitting room, but I am here again to brave the unflattering lighting and questionable cubicles - because I love to take photos of myself awkwardly trying to hide thousands of clothing labels that are attached to me, of course!
This time, we are examining Primark's offerings. What treasures will we find here?
The answer, clearly, is a very dusty mirror and a cool pink biker jacket. I also found an incredible grey dress/long top, which is super soft and cut so nicely.
I love it. It's a perfect shape, the material feels so nice, and the collar is really flattering. I love the cuff sleeve detail as well.
I have always thought biker jackets looked brilliant. They seem to look undeniably good on anyone, and there is a mysterious confidence boosting charm built within them, I think. I'm always happy to see a classic biker jacket, but I also really enjoy the use of different details or colours, and this dusky kind of pastel pink is great.
Sometimes it's hard to smile without looking creepy. I try. I'm a real human and definitely not some kind of ghost robot, I promise.
I tried on this suede-style yellow skirt, and I like it, but something about the length and style on me doesn't quite work. It cuts my legs off in a weird place, making me look noticeably short. I was interested in the colour and texture though, and think those could work nicely for me on a different piece.
I did find this amazing fuzzy cardigan too, and it makes me want to spin around and make all the fuzzy dangly tassel things swoosh through the air. Very magical. I think the dust on the mirror really enhances this look.
This cardigan is seriously one of the most comfy things I have ever had the pleasure of wearing, and I love the plum/wine colour. It looks quite nice with the yellow of this skirt, and speaking of the skirt again, here's a zip detail I quite liked:
I'm not sure if my favourite item was the cardigan or the dress. Both were very comfortable, and items I could imagine wearing all the time. Maybe the dress because it's more of a staple piece that would work with all sorts of outfits and could almost be an outfit in itself, but man, that cardigan is so cute and unique. This was the first time I'd been back to Primark in a good long time, so I found myself quite impressed by a lot of the things I found there. Very interesting. Please throw all strange and fascinating cardigans at me, @ the universe.
This time, we are examining Primark's offerings. What treasures will we find here?
![]() |
| Jacket - £25 |
The answer, clearly, is a very dusty mirror and a cool pink biker jacket. I also found an incredible grey dress/long top, which is super soft and cut so nicely.
![]() |
| Dress/top hybrid - £8 |
I love it. It's a perfect shape, the material feels so nice, and the collar is really flattering. I love the cuff sleeve detail as well.
I have always thought biker jackets looked brilliant. They seem to look undeniably good on anyone, and there is a mysterious confidence boosting charm built within them, I think. I'm always happy to see a classic biker jacket, but I also really enjoy the use of different details or colours, and this dusky kind of pastel pink is great.
Sometimes it's hard to smile without looking creepy. I try. I'm a real human and definitely not some kind of ghost robot, I promise.
![]() |
| Skirt - £8 |
I tried on this suede-style yellow skirt, and I like it, but something about the length and style on me doesn't quite work. It cuts my legs off in a weird place, making me look noticeably short. I was interested in the colour and texture though, and think those could work nicely for me on a different piece.
![]() |
| Cardigan - £18 |
I did find this amazing fuzzy cardigan too, and it makes me want to spin around and make all the fuzzy dangly tassel things swoosh through the air. Very magical. I think the dust on the mirror really enhances this look.
This cardigan is seriously one of the most comfy things I have ever had the pleasure of wearing, and I love the plum/wine colour. It looks quite nice with the yellow of this skirt, and speaking of the skirt again, here's a zip detail I quite liked:
I'm not sure if my favourite item was the cardigan or the dress. Both were very comfortable, and items I could imagine wearing all the time. Maybe the dress because it's more of a staple piece that would work with all sorts of outfits and could almost be an outfit in itself, but man, that cardigan is so cute and unique. This was the first time I'd been back to Primark in a good long time, so I found myself quite impressed by a lot of the things I found there. Very interesting. Please throw all strange and fascinating cardigans at me, @ the universe.
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